theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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