I think my vagina is haunted
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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