if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
