I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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