with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize