finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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