Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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