just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
