She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
