PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize