I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
