Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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