i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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