how can u be prego again
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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