Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
