So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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