I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
