I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
