The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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