Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize