FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
BRING THE BAGELS
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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