I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
