The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
