Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
