I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
