I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
