Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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