dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're like a gay fantastic four
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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