you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Randomize
