I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
