I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
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She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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