whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
