do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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