I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize