I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize