there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
