next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
