and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
