We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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