I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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