i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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