apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
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Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
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just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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