after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize