Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
