Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
