you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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