i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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