There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.