): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.