Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
with great strapon comes great responsibility.