I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
