So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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