this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
