In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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