are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
